THE EXPERIMENT - 1ST PROJECT

Let me tell you a story. A true story. One day, after yet another disappointingly unsuccessful weekend of man-hunting (we went to a surfer magazine party at the Torquay pub during the weekend of the Ripcurl Pro, and STILL couldn't get lucky. wtf?) my friend and I started something we call: The Experiment. The idea was born out of the crux of a series of frustrations and countless, nay, ENDLESS discussions relating to our tragic lovelives. Both of us truly believe ourselves to be attractive, smart, funny young women - yet "WHY OH GOD WHY CAN'T WE GET A FRIGGIN' DATE?!?!" we're constantly heard asking ourselves/each other/friends/randoms.

And so The Experiment started. The idea is to put ourselves out of our comfort zones, be super pro-active in trying to meet new people (of the eligible male variety specifically), go to places we wouldn't normally go to, take initiative and action and hopefully in the process meet someone great, or at least get a date or two out of it. We've got nothing to lose and everything to learn. And at the very least The Experiment could provide us with some fun and potentially hilarious experiences.

One Friday night out we came up with our first project. It was certainly not at all original, but neither of us had ever tried it before and having downed a bottle of wine or two at that stage, it seemed like the perfect official start for The Experiment. So, without much fishing around in my bag (yes, I AM a female but I must have struck it lucky that night) I found an empty envelope, and a pen, and the kitchen sink (joking. Sort of.). I wrote my name and phone number on a torn off edge of the envelope, finished the last bit of my vodka lemon lime, and headed back to the bar in search of the fairly cute bartender who I'd exchanged drinks/money/a laugh with earlier.
I ordered another drink and slipped the "love letter"to him with my $50 note as I paid for the drink. I waited for my change, and to see his reaction when he found the note.
*Cue Benny Hill music* He looked perplexedly at the note (my note, not the money for crying out loud). He looked perplexedly at me. This actually surprised me, wasn't this one of the oldest tricks in the book? He came over to me with my change and the note, and looked at me questioningly.

Gay (because after what happened, I can only conclude that he must be) bartender: Who's it for?
Me: It's for you!
Gay bartender: Who's it from?
Me: Me!!
Gay bartender: What is it?
Me: My number, you bloody douchebag. People use them to call each other. Do you know what a phone is?? - ok this was really just in my head, what I really said, with a seductive smile on my face was:
Me: My number!!!

At this point he still looked puzzled, and not in an innocent and cute way. This was going nowhere at an illegal speed. I shrugged and walked off and guzzled my drink.
My friend and I spent the rest of the night in tears with laughter. Needless to say I never heard jack from the bartender either.

The outcome of project 1 in The Experiment? We learned to pick our targets more carefully, and to steer away from using old tricks of the book. You never can trust that dusty old book! But we enjoyed a good old belly laugh (at my expense) and are no worse off for it.